32 Weeks Tomorrow!

MEDICAL UPDATE:

Had an appointment on Tuesday. Got to see the boys on an ultrasound and they are doing great! Good news first...They are very healthy and measure almost exactly the same size and weighing in at just under 4lbs each. My contractions are there but not consistent and not happening every single day. Praise the Lord! Bad news....My cervix continues to thin. I'm now just under 1cm when I should be more around 4. I passed the fetal fibernectin test. This means my body has not started to "un-glue" to prepare for labor. So overall a good report. However, the doctors tell me every day at this point is a gift.

MENTAL UPDATE:

If you know me well then you know I am a goal oriented person. I get this from the Anderson side of my family. It typically works for me but while on bed-rest it feels like it's against me. I also LOVE a "to do" list and get a huge wave of satisfaction role over me when I get to check something off of it. I even take it another step and if I do something that was not on my "to do" list then I will write it in just so I can mark it off.

Tomorrow I will get to mark something off the list! I accomplish one of my goals the doctors set for me and that is to make it 32 weeks! Now the new goal is 34 weeks. This is really a good strategy for me. It would seem overwhelming to say the goal is 36 weeks now b/c then that means another month of bed-rest. But now I just have to focus on the next 2 weeks which is mentally easier to swallow.

Anything I can do to help my mental state at this point is fantastic. This week has been the hardest so far. Tuesday marked one month of laying on my back and ONLY getting up for the bathroom. I also think the nesting instinct has hit me hard. Pregnancy weekly defines "Nesting" as an uncontrollable urge to clean one's house brought on by a desire to prepare a nest for the new babies, to tie up loose ends of old projects and to organize your world. This instinctive desire + bed-rest for a month + my goal driven genes = break down. Not to mention we moved into a house one month before I was bed ridden so I was not even done unpacking and decorating our new home. This is honestly a TERRIBLE combination.

The family a friends who come to baby sit me and Ivy have been wonderful and so helpful. And I am truly thankful to each and every one of them. But it's no surprise that having a revolving door and people constantly in your house having to go through your stuff gets a little old. It's also getting increasingly harder to just ask people for help. I'm just to the point of wanting to give up and I know that every woman on bed-rest can relate.

So how do I keep going from here? What is going to get me through the day??.............. The answer for me is Hudson, Caleb, and the Lord. Knowing that I would risk having them pre-mature if I get up and do what I want helps me to stay on my back. I have to keep telling myself that it's truly laying down my life for my boys. I want the best for them and I know that every day they bake is a true advantage for their development. And it's a privilege and gift from God to be carrying two babies!

I have this awesome devotional book that my Aunt Martha sent to me when I was first put on bed-rest. It's called, "Jesus Calling" by Sarah Young. It's almost like the book was written to me and for me in my circumstance. The Lord is telling me to take my negative or sinful thoughts captive and try not to let them even enter my mind. When I block those thoughts and focus on the things I have to be thankful for and am appreciative of then it can totally turn my mood around and help me to experience His peace. I wish I could say that I'm successful at this each day but I'm not. The last few days have been a struggle and I tend to want to surrender to my negative thoughts and to complain about it. I could use your prayers in this area as it's a daily battle.

On another note... Josh and Ivy are doing pretty good. Ivy has hit a little wall the last two days but over all she is dealing with it extremely well for a 3 year old. She will come to me after every meal and take my tray to the kitchen for daddy. She also will refill my drinks if I ask and throw things away. She is really taking pride in helping mommy during this time. She even reminds me when I get up for the bathroom to hurray back to lay down so the babies won't come out.

Josh is hanging in there too. I know this is not easy for him but he has yet to complain. I'm amazed by him and so glad I have his example in my life. He is a wonderful husband who deserves so much praise.

We are grateful for how the Lord is growing us personal and in our marriage through this time. In sickness and in health right? Next challenge up is in changing 20 diapers a day!